Sunday, July 31, 2016

Flying

I long to soar with the birds
So free
So beautiful 
Weaving through the tree limbs
Beaconing me 
Fly with us, they seem to whisper
Fly
And so
One windy day
I grab a tall ladder
The tallest I can find
And climb
Up the tallest tree
Until i sway with the branches in the breeze
At the upmost branches 
I stand 
I watch
I wait
And then
As the birds dive around me
I jump
Pushing off the branch 
A laugh escapes my lips
As air rushes around me 
Tangling my hair
The sun is on my back
The ground is far below
I have never felt so free
I am flying

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Sorry

Sorry 
I use that word
Way to much
Over
And over
And over
Again
Sorry
I apologize 
For everything
For Being me
For things other people do to me
For things that happen I really had no part in
For saying sorry
I'm still sorry
I'm sorry for saying sorry
So goddamn much
I'm sorry
For all the stupid things I've done and said
I'm sorry for being me
I'm sorry for being so stupid 
I'm sorry for not doing anything when I should
I'm sorry for being so lazy
For not doing enough
For doing too much
For standing out
For blending in
I'm sorry. 

Saturday, May 14, 2016

~A poem

I see you
Slowly slipping from this world
Fading
Gradually
Ever so slightly
But little things add up
They can build or break

I can tell
You're not alright
But I am
So useless
And so I have no idea what to do

I reach out
Randomly
Not enough
You slip through my fingers
Not even mine to catch

And
I am so sorry
And
I love you so much
But
I just don't know what to do

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Requiem Ball dress

This is not a story but whatever!
This would be Audra's dress at the ball.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

A Tidbit of Information

After reading back through my work and editing little bits, I feel the need to clear up on fact about Audra the character.
It kind of seems like Audra feel apart because Bennett broke up with her. I don't like that it seems like this but I need to write the connecting part and I haven't gotten around to doing that.
So, a brief summery.
One of her "friends" spreads a horrible rumor(tbd) about her (for a reason, but a horrible reason) and her other friends and Bennett believe her friend, not her.
So she was betrayed.
It sounds kind if weird written like that but I hope to make it sounds better. If it doesn't my writing is horrible.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Bennett

Yes, this is set before the other ones. Enjoy! Possibly. If my writing doesn't stink.

-------------------





Audra sat on the bench next to Bennett, waiting for the bus after the sophomore dance. She glances over at him, caught his eye and gave a small smile.
"Did you have fun at the dance?"
"Yeah," he replied. "It was great, did you have fun?"
"Yeah." Audra paused. "I saw you dancing with Avery." Another pause. "...are you guys dating?"
He looked at her and she fiddled with the Irish dance shoe pendant on her necklace.
"Would you care?"
She looked away, her cheeks burning. "Possibly."
Bennett waited a moment to see if she would give a more complete response. When she didn't he answered. "Sorry, it doesn't really matter. Anyways, no. I'm not dating Avery. Or anyone else."
She looked up, surprised. "Really? Wow, I would have thought you had a whole line of girls because you're-" she stops, looking away again. Audra felt him watching her and raised her gaze, meeting his eyes. They were in no way mocking, even though she must be making a fool of herself, just clear and bright as ways.
"Do you have a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, if that's, ya know, your thing."
"Nope. No boyfriend."
"Oh good," Bennett replied.
Audra laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Oh good? What's that mean?"
He shrugged, then grinned. "It's good because if you did have a boyfriend he wouldn't be a very good one for just leaving you at the bus stop by yourself."
"Suuuure," she grinned back him. "I'm sure that's what you meant."
"Hey," he pouted, punching her gently on the arm. "Don't make fun of me."
"Heeey," she said, imitating him and grinning. "Don't hit me!"
She hit him back, just a little harder.
"Ow! What'd you do that for?"
She stopped grinning. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I didn't think I did it that hard.. are you alright?"
He grimaced. "It hurts.. but there is one thing that could make it feel better."
Audra frowned, wondering what she could possibly do.
"Well you know how when you were younger whenever you got hurt one of your parents would have to kiss where it hurt?" A slow smile spread across his face, "Well you have to do that."
"There is no way I'm going to do that," she laughed. "It never actually hurt, did it?"
"Well-"
The rest of his reply was cut off by a bus showing up. Audra looked at the route number on the side of the bus; 16.
"Is this yours?" She asked Bennett.
"Yes, but I can wait with you until the 44 shows up."
"No, you don't need to do that! Go, I'll be fine."
The bus dos opened and a few people got off.
"Audra, there will always be another one, I'm not just going to leave you alone out here."
She narrowed her eyes. "You think I can't take of care of myself?"
"No!" He protested. "That's not it at all! ...I've just ready enjoyed this time with you."
"Oh. But- oh."
The bus began to pull away and Audra frowned at it.
"Well," she said softly, "we could always hangout again sometime."
He smiled. "I'd like that."
She smiled back, "me too."
Another route 16 bus showed up before the 44. Audra convinced Bennett to get on this one, after trading phone numbers. As he boarded the bus she heard him humming one of her favorite Beatle's songs.
I've just seen a face
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met
She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world
To see we've met
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm mmm 

Monday, February 2, 2015

Broken

Broken. That's how Audra felt. Broken. It wasn't nice. But that's what happens when no one cares; you're broken. You've done done something. She must have. But what? Audra sighed, laying back on her bed.
what did I ever do?
She was lonely. Okay, fine! She was lonely! Fine stupid Owen! Fine! You're right! I'm lonely! She wanted to punch him. It was his fault. He was the one who told her, shattering the image she had tried so hard to build up. The barrier against her old friends. Her old friends. No, not them... don't think of them, she told herself, trying to force the memories back. She tried, thinking of anything, Owen, her cat, the color of her wall. Anything but them. Anything but Jaya, Ashley, The Gang, and Bennett. Bennett... oh, Bennett...
It all came swarming back, and Audra could do nothing. The laughs, the whispers, all the broken promises..
They were like a swarm of insects, darting through her mind, buzzing in her ear.
best friends forever
You're the best Audra
you're something special
I love you, I promise to always be with you
The last one, the worst, brought tears to her eyes. Bennett, Bennett, Bennett.
She let out a small scream of fury, her kitty leaping up in surprise, and ran to the window, tearing it open.
"I HATE YOU OWEN! I HATE YOU!!"
Audra slammed the window shut and collapsed on her bed. She hated him so much. She hoped the creepy little brat was under her window, hearing everything she had to say.
Even if he wasn't, she'd make sure he knew. He had to pay.
But Audra's schemes of revenge were not necessary for Owen, sure enough, was in the bushes under her window.
At her words tears welled up in her eyes.
hate, hate, hate
He stood up
hate hate hate
Walked out of the bush
Hate hate hate
And back to his house, vowing not to return.
Broken down not good enough
The broken promises add up
With twice their weight
And tears which I have caused
Til I'm afraid to sink
I'm afraid to swim
Sad to say I miss my friend 
and know that I'm supposed to step away